Blue Ballad

To start with, this post basically consists of merely nothing but complaints. So, if you think you are not up to this… you see the cross icon at the top right corner on this page? Please, click on that one…otherwise, move on!

Up to today, I am still amazed on how some people, who really believe that they are Christian, still actually tell lies and lame excuse in exchange for comfort in churches. I am even more amazed to see how dark, how shrewd and cunning some churches really are. The most amazing thing is to see that some people do race for power in churches. To these amazing things, the least thing I can do is takin’ long, deep breath (actually, to me, the most amazing thing is the fact that I still commit sin despite all the commitments that I’ve made).

Now, these days I am tired of criticizing people. One, it takes more than patience to criticize a person, as some people are simply block-headed and don’t really understand what it takes to understand… got what I mean here? And here goes two, criticizing people can unconsciously lead me to sin, and it did happen… often! And three, these days it takes more than a criticism to get people to change. So, the point is… I’m tired of criticizing people. I have given up on this task and decided to let other people take on this task. So, simply saying, we know that some people in churches are having a real problem. If you are one of those people, please change. If you don’t, I won’t give a care either. However, if you are not one of those people, please tell those kind of people to change, but again, if you don’t want to, don’t force yourself to. I won’t care anyway…

Then, putting about the church matter aside… nowadays, I think the world have gone a little… or maybe a lot wrong. Basically, few days ago, I went to a café alone in a hope that I could find some cozy place to read my books… then I reached at a certain café, not a cheap and lousy one, I tell ya. I took a glance at the menu and found out that the price was like quite expensive (like twenty for a glass of coffee), so basically I was expecting for a cozy, relaxing,
and comfortable café. Then, what did I get? The waiters were actually okay, I was served well. Place was nice and comfortable. The big problem here was the music they were playing, for God’s sake, they had Nidji, Letto, Ungu, and else on the air… why? I kept on asking myself, “Why?” I mean, sure! Some people have their own preference. However, if this is café we’re talking about, then I would normally expect smooth jazz, bossa nova, or at least blues! So, why the heck I was having some kinds of low-brewed music in the café? Come on! You won’t be able to have a nice and relaxing chat with such music, you won’t even be able to have a cozy date, and it’s not like you can read even a single book
either.

Question, am I too demanding? Or everything just doesn’t work all right anymore? Beats me… like I should really care anyway… just ignore this post… I’m just trying to let off steam…

A fewmonths ago, there was this drama called “Bara no Nai Hanaya” (Flower Shop without Roses) I was looking forward to watch as one of the actresses playing is my favourite actress. Yes, Shaku Yumiko! One of the most attractive actresses I’ve ever seen. That was my sole reason, pretty lame, wasn’t it? I didn’t even know what the drama was about. Some weeks ago, I finally got this series and was ready to make a royal straight flush (as I thought I would watch like 5 episodes or so in a day ^^), but I failed to do so, the question is, why? Lemme tell you, whether you want to believe it or not, I had to stop every each episode as I cried after each. It was, man… too… I dunno, tear-jerking?

Shortly speaking, I managed to make my way ‘til through all 11 episodes and
found out that, as I went on with each episode, Shaku wasn’t anything anymore. I mean, indeed, she was there in the show and she was attractive as usual, but she wasn’t the main attraction anymore, or to simply say it, I just didn’t care about her anymore. I was stunned by the plot, by the pure yet sincere love between the leading actor and actress. I really wish such love existed in this world. This then put me into a realization that human’s beauty isactually nothing compared to the beauty of life itself.

I am such a sentimental guy that I often cry out of mawkish movies and songs. To some people, this might be stupid, embarrassing, and stuff. To some others, this might be sweet, and else. I just don’t care what you guys think of me, but this is me, and I enjoy this “me.” I enjoy crying from every heartrending movie, I enjoy wasting my tears on some soppy songs on my mp3 playlist and I just love it…

With each drop tear that I shed, I start to learn more about life, about bond, about love, and about myself. I start to learn how beautiful this life that God has provided; I start to learn how precious all the bonds that I have been keeping until now; I start to learn how love can sweeten your life like a honey shot in a cup of coffee; I start to learn what I really love, what I really want to cherish, what is truly precious to me. And you know what? I am grateful that I do shed my tears now and then as it takes me into a deeper appreciation of life.

Now, let’s get back on the track. Talking about this drama “Bara no Nai Hanaya”, I won’t spoil anything ‘bout this. I do recommend that you guys grab this and enjoy for yourself. And then, uh… I don’ think that I have anything else to speak of… stop here, c ya then…

I remember how I was obsessed by existentialism back then. However, when I first learnt about its true significance, it was actually a very sad big let down. Why? Lemme tell ya, basically, existentialism talks about existence preceding essence. What does this mean? Well, this simply means that nothing creates you. At first, you’re there, and then you create for you your very own essence, your very own destiny. So, for existentialism, there is actually no God’s will, there is no God’s work, there is fate, no destiny, and else. Existentialism talks about you creating your version of truth; you imaging god according to your accordance, and else. Basically, there is no universal truth, there is no God. Which is true and which is wrong, they all depend on each person, ‘cos every person has their own truth, remember? And there is no God! You can create one for you if you want.

Oopss, where have I heard of this before? Doesn’t this sound a bit like postmodernism? Well, yes it is Actually, postmodernism is existentialism repackaged. So, errr… I remember when I took (actually it should be “I was forced to take”) a discipleship class at my church. We were discussing questions every week and the facilitator would like encourage each participant to give input with encouragement like, “Come on! Answer it! No need to be afraid or doubtful! There is no wrong answer. Every answer is correct.” This kind of encouragement seems to be pretty popular lately. Now, even though it was said for the sake of encouraging the participants, I still felt that it was just not right. I mean, for centuries, churches had been trying their best to fend off this monstrous beast called existentialism, which is now postmodernism, but she simply brought the beast in! Dude, come on!

Now, what is actually wrong about this concept? Well, I must admit that I am not THAT (it should be pronounced in a very cynical tone) open-minded. Having no wrong answer is just wrong. First, I believe in what we call as the “objective truth” meaning that while some truth can be viewed from several paradigms, but there is always a truth which is simply objective. No matter where you are, the truth will remain the same. Secondly, take note that people actually develop because they DO make mistakes and they learn from it. Imagine if you had a world in which all the people were having their own version of truth, what would you have there? Chaos and stagnancy! Why? Cos’ they wouldn’t learn anything and they wouldn’t be able to admit their mistakes. The only thing they would know was that they were right. At that point, they would then stop developing.
Scary? Yes! Cool? No way…

Let’s go to the main point (awww! After all those going-round-and-round theories, we still have the meat? Come on…)! I am always confused with those people embracing existentialism and postmodernism. I always want to ask, “Why?” They discard God from their life, and live with their own version of god, which is actually saddening. They haven’t lived their life to the end, they haven’t met God, but at very same point, they simply declare that there is no God. Oh, come on! God exists, you know? Many people met Him and live having a personal time with God every time. If you want to discard God that badly, then give some proofs… you can’t, can you? Your proofs just don’t prove anything. You don’t really know whether God exists or not.

With this post, I encourage all people to keep on believing. If you have reached the very end of your life and God still doesn’t come for you, then it’s your freedom to stop believing, but you just haven’t reached that stage, leading to another fact that you haven’t proven anything. So, please… keep on believing. I’m sure you won’t regret this. I’m sure it won’t do you any harm. This is it. I
stop here. Bless ya!