Holiday’s Blues
‘Holiday’s
blues’, that’s what Raras said about my condition right now - a
condition in which you are having a holiday in your hometown and find
it extremely difficult to leave it due to certain reasons… that’s
how we define it, holiday’s blues.
Now, I
don’t like this. I mean, I have a dang lot of tasks waiting for me
ahead in Yogyakarta and I don’t think I can do ‘em well with this
kind of state. My heart is simply not in the state of working
everything out. I want to stay here longer… in Jakarta, there are
too many people I cannot leave here. It’s like… I still want to
be with ‘em, praying for ‘em while watching them developing
slowly. Dude, life is harsh… time is cunning… and above all,
being melancholic is sick! I don’t like this. I should actually
leave this city with some kind of satisfaction that I have done some
good deeds for my little brothers and sisters here, but no! There are
things I still want o say to ‘em, there are things I still want to
share to ‘em! And not being able to do so makes me kind of… yeah,
holiday’s blues.
Well,
I don’t want to be a crybaby here, meaning that whatever happens,
life should just go on, rite? I don’t want to make this en excuse
for later failure (doesn’t necessarily mean that I am expecting
failure here). No matter in what condition I am, my principals won’t
falter. I will perform all my tasks professionally and perfectly.
‘Til my death, I won’t go against my own words. Once I decide to
put my all into something, then there will be no more excuse left for
me. I have been a role model for some people this whole time and I
won’t let them see their role model going down like some nuts. The
perfectionist and professional me will remain the same forever. That
and that alone!
…
okay, some of you guys reading this post and willing to pray for me,
please do! As for now, I will need more and more support… will dry
up here! GBU!
-was written several hours before I left for Yogyakarta on the 4th of July-
